So there I was, getting ready to write a new blog post after 5 frickin' months without anything, nada, zilch, njema, zero...certainly, the urge to write something new after all that time was strong. But of course, as seems to always happen during moments like these, something came up...something important. And yet, for the life of me, I can't quite recall what it was, much less if it was actually important or not. At this point you're probably thinking "oh, not this crap again" orhttp://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2011/11/4/2f79d997-e3cd-4467-aa80-1e2c19335833.jpg...and you wouldn't be too far off the mark.
Anyway, enough of that 'obligatory after 5 months without writing anything' crap, there's something totally different I want to discuss today. Some of you might recall the initial part of the title of this post to be a section of the lyrics to one of the Black Eyed Peas' hit songs, "Don't Lie" (needless to say I'm using the term 'hit-song' loosely here) or some of you might be thinking "this guy doesn't even have the inspiration to write his own titles, he should just give up writing already". To which I would reply, "read all of this crap, before you criticise it just for its title, idiot". Anyway, back to "Don't Lie"...it's a pretty decent pop-song, at least when it comes to its melody. It's also a rather nice change of tune compared to the usual Black Eyed Peas song, which is just plain loud and retarded. To be fair, they're also the owners of two of the best mainstream dance songs of the past decade, "Let's Get It Started" and "Pump It", even though the latter heavily uses music from the Greek song, "Misirlou". Of course, all this is offset by the abominations that are "My Humps" and "I Gotta Feeling", to name just two. Now what "Don't Lie" does is take the retarded lyrics formula from most BEP(can't believe I actually just acronymed their name, but it's a chore to keep repeating the entire name) songs and combine it with a nice, decent melody. Of course, you forget all about that last part when listening to the song and hearing things such as the section from the title of this post...I mean, come on guys, surely you can do better than that. "Because I lied and I cheated and I lied a little more/ But after I did it I don't know what I did it for" is the kind of thing teenagers who don't know what the fuck they want from a relationship say when they're caught red-handed. Random thought: I also think "Meet Me Halfway" from BEP is nice too.
The thing is, BEP are not the only ones who have these kinds of songs, ones that hide a bunch of retarded lyrics behind a nice, catchy melody. There's tons of other examples: look at Gotye's "Somebody That I Used to Know", a song that hides some of the worst relationship "advice" behind a rather refreshing, 80's-90's vibe melody(to my mind at least). Katy Perry seems to be especially good at this: in "Firework" the melody is rather okayish, but it's ruined from the beginning by this nugget of lyrical genius, "Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?"(the answer is, of course, "No, Katy, I don't ever feel like a fucking plastic bag"). So scratch what I said in the previous phrase about her being good at this...she's terrible. I still remember liking her song "Hot'n'Cold" when it was first released, but then asking myself "what the hell am I listening to?" when actually listening to the lyrics...again, the idiot teenager comparison came to mind. And then there's people like Jessie J who sing "It's not about the money, money, money" in songs such as "Price Tag". Yeah, Jessie, I'd definitely believe that if it weren't for the fact that that song was your second single and the first to gain mainstream success. Not to mention the fact that you continue to churn out hit-singles such as "Domino", which have no artistic value whatsoever...still not about the money? Were it not for her looks and half-decent voice, I doubt she would've received a second look-in.
Oh, and another ridiculous pop-song I was reminded of today: "Beautiful Girls" by Sean Kingston. This one's actually funny, if a bit sad...as you probably know, the chorus goes something like this "You're way too beauuuuuuuuutiful girls /That's why it'll never work". Which leads me to believe that Sean's a frustrated teenager who sits in his house all day, while transferrring that frustration into overly dramatic lyrics. A claim that is further cemented by a reality that's encountered daily: the hottest chicks going out with ugly or "decent-looking" guys. I certainly hope he's got that reality through his head since he released that song (in 2007), otherwise I fear for the safety of his wrists. So again, we come back to the teenager comparison...but hey, at least Sean's got an excuse, he actually was a fucking teenager back in 2007. What's your excuse BEP? Is Fergie younger than she looks? Are the guys on some sort of growth-hormones that causes them to age faster than usual? And of course, such a discussion about the pop/mainstream industry would not be complete without mentioning the trend of sexualising music like there's no tomorrow. I actually don't have any particular examples on me, but you know what I'm talking about. Sexualising the shit out of a song has practically become the go-to method for mainstream artists when they're lacking inspiration (read 90% of the time). And yes, I do understand it somewhat...I mean, yeah, sex is awesome and it's hard not to notice the two R's(rack & rear) of a well-endowed female counterpart when you're out, but come on, you don't make that the entire basis of a song. Those are things that you discuss with your mates/girls while you're out and while the moment's still fresh, not immortalise them in a song. At the end of the day, music is about life and there's more to life than just sex. Not to mention there are other, more subtle and ambiguous ways of singing about sex...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0wTxqHbJOzg&ob=av2e
Alright, not the best example...
And don't even get me started on the one-trick ponies such as Adele out there...I mean, she's built her entire career around soul-crushingly sad songs. They're the main reasons for her mainstream success. It's clear that she's had some traumatic personal experiences that she's used to fuel her inspiration and I think it's quite admirable that she's managed to turn such personal tragedy into an overwhelming success. But that success will be short-lived, because at the end of the day, people don't want to hear about the sad part of life ALL the fucking time...they want to hear about all the other wonderful things that life has to offer. What will Adele do when she's ran out of personal tragedies to draw inspiration from? It's very unlikely she'll just go the oversexualising route, but hey, you never know. Then again, she's got to get good at this relationship business at some point, right?
The thing is, even mainstream artists such as U2, Robbie Williams or even fucking Take That understand that music isn't supposed to be monotonous (I'm referring to positive uplifting songs such as "Beautiful Day", "Stuck In A Moment" or "Love Supreme"). An no, I can't believe I've given Take That as a positive example...but what's interesting to note about them is that even in their gayest songs, there's a joie-de-vivre, like they're actually enjoying what they're doing (even though it compromises their masculinity). With BEP or Jessie J, I can't really tell if they're enjoying what they're doing because that's lost somewhere in all the teenagerly, oversexualized, let's drink till we fucking die and hypocritical lyrics. Still, I'd still be inclined to say yes, because come on...loads of CA$$$$$H! What I'm saying is, who cares about artistic value when you can keep the money coming by churning out mindless crap after mindless crap.
Fortunately, all is not doom and gloom in the mainstream industry and the trends seem to be changing, albeit at a snail-like rate. One of them is to come out with weird styles that incorporate mainstream sounds or not at all. And while that has given birth to extremist weirdos such as Lady GaGa, there's also positive signs such as Lana Del Rey, who while being crap live, seems to understand the importance of not going monotonous. Not to mention "Video Games" is one of the best mainstream songs I've heard in a while (even though it sounds nothing like mainstream)...that chilling piano and harp instrumental, even the lyrics (while melodramatic) are good; and she's done something no other mainstream artist has done in a while, namely keep the melodrama in check for an entire song.
In any case, the main idea I was trying to get across in this awfully long post is that mainstream pop music has become lost in the well of uninspiring, money-producing crap it has become nowadays. It's gotten to a point where it's become predictable, boring and quite tiresome. Oh, where art thou 80's pop music? (the answer is, on youtube, you fucking idiot)
Oh, and just a little disclaimer before I sign off: while I realise that some of my opinions come across as strong and abrasive, I just want to point out that I wasn't criticising people who actually like the music I've been talking about here, just saying why I think that particular music is crap, uninspiring and lacking in artistic value (and while I realise that not many actually care about those reasons, I had to find something to write about after 5 months out, didn't I?).
